She was my first best friend, the one who taught me to see the wonder in simple things.
There was the robin’s nest she showed me, and then again, when tiny birds fluttered by my bedroom window.
I remember those eggs, so incredibly blue.
She took care of the wild cats in the woods, brought the baby cats milk when the mother cat had gone away.
I remember those crying, little kittens, even today.
I can see her now in her sun hat, planting pansies in the spring. She always planted my favorite kind, the ones with little faces.
I remember all those planting days, a sea of flowers everywhere.
I held her hand so tight back then, when we crossed the street, or often in the dark, when I felt lost, or all alone.
Now, she takes my arm when we cross the street, knows her way, but the steps are not so sure.
I am my mother’s daughter: I cannot imagine where I would be without her steady hand.
She says she is a burden and I always tell her no. I help her plant pansies in the spring, and always, just so; I want the little faces to smile up at her.
I still reach for her hand in the dark, grateful she is there, my first best friend, my mother.
“She is far more precious than jewels.” Proverbs 31:10
(Reposted from my earlier blog, Linda’s Writing Corner. I changed the address and moved on to this one.)
The Open Road
Keepsakes
My mother has been staying with me for the past two months. She was here with my husband and I this past March. The rest of the time she has been staying with my sister in the mountains. 2020 was a very hard year for the elderly. My mother can no longer live alone and keep up a house. She is eighty-seven years old, and has lived in her own place all of her life. But, in life, the times change and the seasons change. Sometimes, we may not feel one hundred percent ready; still, the tide changes and we must move on.
We have begun the process of sorting through my mother’s things. It is nice to have her with us as we do so. There are sets of china tea cups for all four of her granddaughters. There are items that she is choosing for each grandson. We have just begun, but, it is a wonderful legacy of love that she is passing on. Each piece is a treasure because it is from their grandmother.
I have created a ‘keepsake suitcase’ that my mother can take from house to house with her. It contains her favorite pictures, letters, and memorabilia. I placed a tiny wooden Swedish horse in there because it is something that she loves. The larger ones may not fit in the suitcase, but this little one does!
It takes a bit of creativity as we venture into this new territory of my mother’s life. But, when you think about it, each new step we take in life takes creativity and imagination. My mother cannot keep every single thing in her house. All my sister and I can do, is put some of her favorite things in the bedroom where she stays at each of our houses. It is a small replica of the past, and also a mosaic of the new; she is not in her own house, but she is with people who love her.
I do not know what the future holds. For the time being, my mother enjoys her mountain time with my sister, and then, some visits at my house. My brother lives close by and some of the grandchildren do as well. I am hoping that her little suitcase will be a reminder of all the good times she has had, and all the people who have shared in her life. The suitcase contains a colorful collage of a well-lived and happy life…trips and parties, the births of children and grandchildren, a loving husband who adored her, friends from childhood, and new ones also. There is room in the suitcase for more treasures; advanced age does not mean that joy cannot be experienced in profound and wondrous ways.( My mother enjoys hugging those great grandbabies, reading on the porch, swimming at a pool, visiting with friends and family.) On the porch at my house, she can listen to the birds sing, watch the many rabbits dart across the lawn, eat her lunch out in the sunshine, or watch the rain pour down on a stormy day. She is surrounded by the plants and flowers we bring home for her from the gardening centers. (And, yes, she asks me daily if I have remembered to water them!)
The very best keepsakes are the ones we hold within our hearts. It is here that our most cherished memories are stored in a place where they are safe. There is only so much we can put into a suitcase. Perhaps, that is for the best. If we are taking a trip, it is not what is in the suitcase that matters. It is the adventure that lies ahead, the people we will meet along the way, the open road of our imagination that helps us build new dreams.
At whatever stage we are in life, God is there with us. He is also there ahead of us, and He knows the way before we get there. We are so blessed to enter into new beginnings, knowing that God leads the way.
Change can be so very hard. It is hard to close the door and leave behind a familiar way of life. But, it is only by opening new doors that we go anywhere at all. And, who knows what we will find on the other side of that door?
My mother has loved her time in the mountains. It is a brand new experience for her because she has always lived close to the sea. In West Virginia where my sister lives, she had a wonderful wintertime with lots and lots of snow. She has had two granddaughters helping to look after her and bring her a favorite breakfast on many an occasion…Swedish pancakes with lingonberries!
The times in our lives are always changing. We must create room in our suitcases for keepsakes from new adventures…happy memories of times spent with friends and family, new hobbies we always wanted to learn about, new places we always we wanted to see. One day, we want to look back at our suitcases without regret; we want to pack the most important things, and leave behind the things that weighed us down.
There will be bends in the road where we cannot see the path ahead. That is where our faith comes in, and our sense of adventure as well. Rest assure, our Heavenly Father knows every curve that is down the highway of life. With Him, we can navigate the journey with peace in our souls; hopefully, we can enjoy the passing scenery, celebrate the legacy of love that has been passed down to us, and make the most of every moment along the way!
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”: Ecclesiastes 3:1
This and your earlier piece “My Father’s Daughter” are both beautifully said!
Thank you Mary! This piece got a little longer than I intended…The picture on the blog is of my mother sitting on the porch of her house last year. It is an emotional journey for her to leave her home of many years. (It is emotional for us also…so many old photos spanning many generations, items we have not seen in a great many years.) It is a walk down memory lane, but in a good way. The memories are mostly happy! š (Of course, it a lot of work also!!!)
Make sure you’ve recording her stories, written or recorded. The only thing better than an heirloom is one with a story, especially from your mother.
So many stories I know by heart! In March, I began to write her stories down in a notebook. I am still learning new things about my mother! My son found a newspaper clipping from my mom’s school. She was class president in the eighth grade. She never told us that!!! It is little things like that which are interesting to us…our mother when she was young, our mother’s life before she even was a mother.
I’m so glad to hear this!
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Linda, I am weeping yet. These stories are the deepest kind of love – in print – that we are privileged to know in this life. You have been so blessed, and most surely, your mother has been blessed by her children!! My mother died suddenly of a massive stroke when she was just 72, but she also was my first best friend. She also taught me so much about love and compassion and the little things that plant them deep in our own hearts. I am also touched by the Swedish touches…I’m 3/4 Swedish by heritage (the other 3/4ths is Norwegian…) and can picture her Swedish horse exactly – I have several, including one that sits on the floor. You have such a precious heritage. And you have so generously and lovingly shared it with us. God has indeed been a watchful and joyful presence in all your lives, as in mine. We have been magnificently blessed! Thank you for the beauty of your story!
We are so very blessed! God has so generously provided for us in this life…family and friends that love us very much. The little things bring us joy, yes? My mother loves her Swedish horses! She also loves her little tompte, and she always decorated the house at Christmas…little gnomes everywhere! I take out some of my Swedish things at Christmas also. Some of the items are out all through the year. We have our traditional smorgasbord at Christmas and my mother always makes the rice pudding. (I am so happy that you have wonderful memories of your mother. You are right; a mother plants love deep within our souls, and it grows and grows.)
This is so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. You have been blessed, and your sharing this is a great blessing for me today.
In many ways it is so hard to see our parents grow old. It is not easy to see them struggle to walk or remember things. Somehow, loves shines a bright light on it all. The years have taken a toll on the body, but not so with the heart. In that way, the old saying is true…the heart stays forever young.
Oh Linda, you nd your mother are able to do what we had hoped for with one of my parents and one of my wife’s. I love the suitcase and all the meanings and memories being made. Honoring your mom in this way honors God. Not many families have this kind of character in these times. What a blessing
I found the actual suitcase in my own closet! I had a great many letters stored in there. I am the keeper of cards and letters and photographs! I took out my letters and put them in a drawer. Since my mother ‘moves’ from house to house between my sister and myself, I thought the little suitcase would be a comfort. She likes it very much. (It has gotten pretty full!) š
Linda, your mother is blessed to have a daughter like you. As my wife and I are creeping ever closer to our 80s, Iām trusting that our daughters will take good care of her when Iām gone.
If it were a tapestry, our parents would be the golden threads. Sometimes, one of my three sons will joke with my mother. When our clan is all together, my four children and their spouses, and my five grandchildren, everyone talking at the same time…My son John will pipe up, “Look what you started, Grandma.” And it is true. š Until we meet again in heaven, we cannot replace the golden threads when they are no longer there. Better to appreciate the shimmer now, even when there are difficult moments and the ‘growing pains’ of an elder’s life. Youth has its growing pains too…every stage of life has its own highs and lows.
Love this š
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A wonderful reflection, Linda.
Thank you! It has been a busy time! Summer is usually a time when the pace slows just a bit…not this year! š But, there is much to reflect upon in these summer days…much to be grateful for!
This is such a beautifully written and loving reflection. I went through those life transitions with my mother, and I’m thankful I was able to.
I am very thankful as well. š Each transition marks a change; like an apple tree that bears much fruit in due season, we must be open to the harvest at hand.
Sometimes there are no words big or grand enough to express how beautiful this was.
This time with my mother has been a time set apart. Sometimes, we think that we are the givers, but actually, it is God giving back to us. Sifting through the decades of my mother’s life through letters and photographs has been such a revelation. I thank God for these moments. I have come to see so many things in a brand new way. It is as if God is saying to me, ” I have a plan for each and every life. It is beautiful in every detail.” I have always been a planner; I understand now that so many things in life can never be planned.” We must be open to the mysteries and the unknown…
Your Mother is very lucky to have such a close and caring family, with people to go to all the time. 2020 has been devastating for elderly people. A lot definitely haven’t been as luck as your lovely Mum!
2020 was an awful year for people of my mother’s age. Isolation is hard to deal with at any age. Thank God, the world is at a better place…day by day, healing has begun.
Hi Linda. I’m approaching a new season. My 77 year old single mom has been diagnosed with severe dementia. I am the only child. She lives alone some 60 miles away. I have convinced her she needs to sell the house and move in with us. It’s much like a beautiful tree losing its leaves one by one. I have yet to go through her belongings, but it will be a mammoth job. It’s all so overwhelming, both physically & emotionally. My faith needs strengthening. Thank you for this post release. God’s grip – Alan
You are in my prayers, and I hope that you will pray for me as well. It is an emotional journey, to be sure. Still, I think we are blessed in many ways. This time with my mother has taught me much about myself. In the midst of it all, God is ever present, ever encouraging. I am so grateful that I have my sister to share this journey with me. The grandchildren have been wonderful also. It would be good if you had someone in the extended family to give you a break from time to time. (Even a barren tree in winter has its own beauty. Being there for someone else is a gift; you help them remember all the beautiful leaves. And then, you yourself are reminded that all these leaves mattered, every single one. Things in life are always changing, but with every change, something new emerges, something special in its own way. (I sometimes feel that my mother is ‘fading’ with the memory loss; then, I remember the special times we shared, and I see the tree in full bloom, full of light, full of life.
Like you, I am learning more about myself during this new ramp in the road. No doubt I will be discovering much in days to come. Here’s to the beautiful leaves.
God has a way of surprising us with good things even in the worst of times. It is said that we are every age we have ever been…In these moments, the winds of time seem to stand still and all the memories of all the years spin before our eyes. It reminds us that we make memories every day; we must spend our time wisely, and not waste the treasure of our days on foolish things. And we must celebrate all the people we love and have ever loved, and all the seasons, because they have brought us to where we are today.
This is so beautiful! I’m glad you and your mother are so close, and I know how hard it can be to have to move a mother out of her house and into a new community. So many memories, and so many decisions to be made. My mom had only lived in her house for ten years before moving to a retirement center, and it was still very difficult. I can’t imagine how hard it is to move from a life-long home.
But you are so right: knowing that God is not only with us, but will continue to be with us as we make these big changes is so comforting. And you know what? Mom has been in her new apartment for almost two years now, and she loves it there! All that hard work was worth it for sure.
I remember your posts when your mother was moving! I can’t believe that was two years ago already. My mother has moved a couple of times, but she has been in this house for almost thirty years. One day at a time, we are making progress! š
Linda, what you and your sister are doing for your mother is absolutely beautiful. I love your idea of a keepsake suitcase that she can carry with her in her travels.
That little suitcase is getting ‘stuffed’ with more and more things! š Pretty soon, the suitcase will have to be down-sized, alongside uncluttering the house. Too funny! It has been great fun sorting through photos of days gone by. You think that you remember everything, but photographs really bring back the moments.
So much wisdom in this post Linda, the kindness glows in your mothers face and this is such a loving tribute to her, to life, to change … we too will go there one day š
Yes, Kate, we are all moving in the same direction. Sometimes, people forget that, but we each grow older, day by day. It is best to celebrate all the changing seasons, young and old, and everything in between. Every season of our lives offers something altogether new. It is up to us to make the most of it, come what may. š
well said!
A beautiful and loving reflection, Linda. It is a difficult journey, and sad to see a loved one become frail. It’s fortunate that you and your sister have room for your mother to stay with you. I like your keepsake suitcase.
My mom went through several moves, each place smaller than the one before and requiring her to part with more belongings.
We have surely had our bittersweet moments in these days! I believe that a sense of humor helps a great deal. š One day at a time, our entire family is learning new things. The grandchildren have been amazing! We have all had to pull together and work together as a team. We have our moments!!! But, I am so happy that everyone is trying in their own way…We all cope with things differently, and there is no one ‘right’ way of accomplishing a given task.
Very true!š
LInda, this is so beautiful, I’m so glad to have found your blog. I am amazed at the similarities we share. My mother also has moved in with us in the last 2 months, after the passing of my dad. She has always been my best friend as well, as you so beautifully described your mother. I love the story of the suitcase and what a wonderful way to look at life and its winding journey. Your writing is very moving and I’m so enriched by reading this. God bless!
I wish you blessings as well on this journey! There are so many roads in life that simply loom up and then we are walking upon them. Along the way, although our feet may sometimes tire, there are beautiful things to encounter. If we did not travel that road, we would never know what we had missed. Yes, there are potholes and twists in the passage, but there are incredible moments as well…Life is both a mysterious and wonderful thing when we trust God with the journey before us.
Linda, clearly you have a wonderful mother, and her children are rewarding her with their time and companionship now when she needs it most. I loved reading this so much, though it is so poignant because of her age. XO
She has been a wonderful mother, and we do enjoy her company! There are a lot of changes all at once, and yet, I feel God working through this process with us. Day by day, we are making progress. It is odd, but in these times of transition, we learn so much about ourselves. We find inner strength and courage to face difficult situations. We discover that ultimately love is the key that unlocks so many things…even the hardest of things. It softens the trying moments and brings hope and comfort.
Beautifully put, Linda! Your words are always inspiring and gentle xo.
Thank you Luanne! š